Wimbledon – a fortnight of extremes
Ah yes, Wimbledon fortnight. A period when all us brits who have absolutely no interest in Tennis whatsoever for the other 50 weeks of the year, sit up and take notice. This particular fortnight, we’re pretending to be rooting for the ‘British’ athlete Andy Murray. Andy will remain ‘British’ as long as he is is winning. If he gets knocked out before the final in which he is seeded to appear, he’ll revert to being ‘Scottish’. Greg Rusedski was the same, he was always ‘British’ until he flopped and immediately became ‘Canadian’.
Still, the good thing is that we all get to see the girlies in their summer attire (even though the East European lasses now think it’s cool to grunt like navvies every time they hit the ball. What’s that all about?). Why do they need to make noises like they’re having their finger nails pulled out when they play a stroke? I also think there’s some really dodgy looking ‘women’ amongst their prettier contestants this year. Do they still carry out gender tests at Wimbledon? If so, some appear to have slipped through the net. I’ve never even heard of some of them.
John McEnroe is still by far the most entertaining man at Wimbledon, closely followed by Boris Becker. You get the impression that these two could do the media thing in their sleep, whilst around them are the bunch the BBC have strung together out of the Brits who struggled into the top 500 all those years ago. How can a guy like Mark Petchey be even allowed to wax lyrical with Mac the Mouth? John Lloyd is another who once got within a sniff of a title. They just don’t have any gravitas, and the commentary is even supplemented by Barry Davis, who’s never been the same since the World Staring Championships.
So, in less than two weeks time, we’ll find out if we have a ‘British’ champion, or a ‘Scottish’ also-ran. Will Henman Hill be renamed, or will we be forced to retain the name of the nearly man for another year?
Murray Mound anyone?
PS. What are the chances that since this is the first year that the Centre Court has a roof, there won’t be a single drop of rain falls on the Championships?
